The fall of America ’s sweetheart!? - "A Gentleman betrayed by his Quarterly"

Fetchies, I stand before you a Gentleman betrayed by his Quarterly. The Jennifer Aniston cover made me weep tears of molten iron. It's a dual tragedy: For starters, I have reason to believe that GQ may be having a mid-life crisis what with all their casual references to 'Asian whores' and the garishly done Megan Fox cover and secondly, the fall of Jennifer Aniston...woe is me! Woe to mankind.

Like any red-blooded male, I do enjoy eye-candy. Insert clause: as long as it is tastefully done. I shall refrain from talking about the Megan Fox travesty since her strategically placed tattoos and tales of teenage lesbianism do not a thing for me or anyone with an inherent sense of good taste. Now the Adriana Lima cover...wow...But I am digressing yet again!

I have always found Jennifer Aniston deliciously sexy, to the point where she became a sort of girlfriend ideal: the hip, armed with a disarming smile and witty rejoinder city girl who works at Ralph Lauren. So unlike the Gwyneths, Nicoles and Evas who bedazzle with their ethereal perfection, turning one's judgment to jelly. Jen had style but she was approachable, she was someone you could hang out with on the red carpet, as ludicrous as that may sound. The jeans, the sweaters, the hair, the ineffable charm that made men swoon. 'Had'. Past tense.

When did this happen?

Why did this happen?

Oh Jen! I miss you! Why do you insist on reinventing yourself as 'a cougar'? Why would you even associate yourself to something like that? You, who were radiant in that bundle of silliness called 'Rumour Has It', why do you want us to see you in this way? In this...*gulps*...trashy new avatar: denuded and nestled comfortably betwixt a bevvy of douchebaggy male models. And why would you say that Angelina Jolie is 'uncool' and that too now? You know what is truly 'uncool'? 'Uncool', that's what! Come back Jen, we miss the effervescent, affable you.

posted by (m)